Dear Eyebrows

Dear Eyebrows,

Maybe we should give you a break.

 IMAGE SOURCE: cara-delevingne-eyebrows-dolce-and-gabbana-ss13

IMAGE SOURCE: cara-delevingne-eyebrows-dolce-and-gabbana-ss13

Eyebrows have been having a bit of a moment, haven’t they? It seems that ever since photos of Cara Delevigne starting flooding our Instagram feeds a few years ago, women the world over have become obsessed with their eyebrows. Social media is great like that, isn’t it? All your life you’ve plodded along applying mascara, lipstick, blush - among other things – not even giving your eyebrows a second thought. And then boom, the magical world of Instagram has suddenly made eyebrows seem to be of the upmost importance.

A facial feature that wasn’t even part of our morning beauty routine five years ago has suddenly become one of the biggest cosmetic investments for women wanting to look ‘fierce’. And alas, now we ladies have an extra task to add to our already painfully-long morning make-up routine.

Because damn girl, your brow game better be strong.

What the hell have we even been doing for all these years, living a world where women ignored the fullness of their eyebrows? Here we’ve been, acting like absolute amateurs, only getting them waxed, plucked and tinted. When this whole time, we really should have been doing all of that, plus pencilling them in every day, getting them shaped, getting them threaded, buying specialised brow-kits, highlighting our arches (whatever that means) and spending money visiting an ‘eyebrow technician’. Because yes, that is a legitimate profession these days, one which women are expected to throw even more of their hard-earned pennies at. Thanks heaps for that, Instagram.

So, it began. We started filling in our brows. Making them look fuller, thicker, darker, bigger. Investing in brow gel, brow pencils, brow highlighter, brow wax – you name it, the beauty industry has thought of everything when it comes to making money off women’s new-found brow insecurity.

You will be made to feel abnormal, unattractive and hell, even a bit weird, if you are not spending at least 10 minutes every morning drawing fake eyebrows on to your face.

Now because this is a fairly annoying thing to have to do every single day, some people have come up with a genius plan – tattoo eyebrows on women’s faces. Cosmetic tattooing has been around for quite some time; but purely eyebrow tattooing, performed by an ‘eyebrow technician’? This is new and radical, folks. But have we really reached the point where we want to tattoo a beauty fad on to our faces?

A 27-year old Perth lass, who shall remain unnamed due to privacy and/or embarrassment, thought long and hard about getting her brows tattooed on for that very reason.

“Beauty fads obviously come and go, and I was sure big thick eyebrows would eventually go out of fashion, just like 80’s blue eyeshadow and 90‘s body glitter would,” she said.

“But I went ahead and did it anyway. I booked an appointment with an ‘eyebrow tattooing specialist’ in Perth.

“I paid about $700 to have ‘feather tattooing’ on my eyebrows.

“However, a few days after my first appointment, the ‘tattooing’ just came off. It just came off my face, like dry skin falling off.

“So I had to go back again and have them re-done. But the same thing happened a few days later, the alleged ‘tattoos’ just came right off. So I went back for a third time, a little agitated by that stage, and lo and behold, they came off again a few days later.”

So ladies, before you spend money on a repertoire of brow pencils, gels, powders and brow-kits, or pay a small fortune getting your brows temporarily tattooed on, think long and hard – will you look back on your brows in 20 years the way you look back at your body glitter now?